Too cheap to splurge on a festive table covering that you’ll use but once a year? Just buy a roll of cheap (or expensive, if that’s how you roll) holiday wrapping paper and wrap that table up tight. You could even add a bow, if you’re crazy like that.
Still, even without a bow, this actually doesn’t look so crappy. And I’m sure it’s quite satisfying to tear off the paper post-holiday celebration, or during, if you want to make a dramatic statement during a family flair up. Oooh, that sounds fun.